During the last trimester, we couldn't see Simon's face in the ultrasounds because he always had his hands up by them. He's relaxed a bit now, but those first few weeks he often had his hands up by his face or his hands in his mouth, as shown in the picture below. (Here he was only a week old....watching the gators play basketball with his daddy).
His Hands that Provide:
In those early weeks, I often had to fight Simon when it came time to nurse. He was hungry but eagerly went right to those hands. Here I was trying to give him exactly what he needed, yet he was comfortable and settling for something that wouldn't fill his needs. He of course didn't know what he was doing, but how often do we do this with God? He knows our needs (even before we ask Him), and so often without knowing that we're doing it we eagerly fill our lives with something less satisfying, something comfortable, all the while, He's fighting us to give us what we really need. We need to get our hands out of the way and open them to what His hands have to offer.
CS Lewis said it way better than I ever could:
"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far to easily pleased."
His Hands that Protect:
There's also the protective side of me that has arisen. I was given a head's up that the mama bear would come out of me. My skin reacts to bug bites worse than the average person, and the itching can be quite annoying! However now that we're back in the jungle with Simon, I'll take every bite as long as he doesn't get bitten! Its been one of my prayers (especially in a house full of critters) that if anyone gets bitten or stung that it be me. Even now as I write I have two annoying spider bites on my belly, but I'm so relieved that the vermin didn't touch my boy! I know I can't keep harm from him his entire life, and its only a matter of time before he gets that first bite or sting.
But on a grander scale, how much does God the Father, God our Rock, Fortress, and Shelter as He is so often described in the psalms, how much does He protect us from? I've often thought of that when I've grumbled about being stopped by another red light when I'm already late....but it could be those 30 seconds that He may have protected me from an accident. We could never know all the things He has protected us from, but as His children who've trusted in His Son, we know we are protected from an eternity without Him in misery.
And that's where His immense love for us boggles my mind. I've only held Simon in my arms for 8 weeks, and carried him in my womb for 9 months, and as much as I love him, if faced with the option, I can't say that I would give his life to save yours. Yet that's exactly what God did for us!
- He provided a way of grace, free salvation. We are so comfortable and eager to work for it ourselves, we want to prove ourselves, thinking we can earn something. It doesn't work that way!
Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.
- He protected us from an eternity without Him, in hell, in misery, yet not protecting His Son in order to provide us with an eternity with Him.
There's so much to understand still about God's love for us, that we'll never come to a full comprehension of. All I know is as I look into my son's eyes and my heart is filled with so much love for him, I'm at a loss for words that God would even look upon me like that in love. Yet His love is greater and purer for us, and the concept that He really loves little Simon more than I do....which is WAY more than A LOT!
